The New Antisocial

When you walk into your local gym and say “Good morning!” just a little too loudly and enthusiastically, chances are you won’t be winning any popularity points that day. You, my friend, are what they call a textbook case of the New Antisocial. Here’s why. 

Gym-goers these days love their safe space. They can’t help it. The government made them that way, and so did Mom and Dad. They put on their headphones and crank the music loud enough to pretend you don’t exist. Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal behavior. Their bubble is comfortable. Beautiful, even. So when you enter their gym and dare to make eye contact while cheerfully shouting “Good morning!” as if there’s a fire, you’re invading their world — which, as we all know, is rude. So don’t. 

Dear old-timer, what you need is a lesson in modern etiquette. 

Way back when the hiss on your new cassette tape was just a minor inconvenience, social rules used to be all about visible interactions: you made eye contact, you said hello. Now they’re digital and selective. Greetings happen only with friends, in apps, or anywhere they feel, well, safe. Let that sink in. Saying “Good morning” to a stranger at the gym? Simply not done. No, Sir. No, Ma'am.

So when you walk in all cheerful, feeling the urge to wish everyone a jolly good morning, remember this: you’re not being social. You’re part of their background decor. You’re a disruption. In their world, your friendliness is just noise. Your “Good morning!” is an offense. 

Welcome to the era of the New Antisocial.

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This one's for you, Anton. 

A belated Happy Birthday!