Why Nuisances Enrich Our Lives

A little bird told me I am in urgent need of therapy to release those upbeat vibes that are so helplessly trapped inside the dungeons of my mind. Rumor has it my neighbors are screaming for them to surface. Well, who am I to ignore the wisdom of a cute little Tweety bird?

Okay.... 

Why nuisances enrich our lives... 

Let's see... 

Ah here's why! Nuisances are an effective way to test our patience. Consider it a free 'n' private workout. No other sweaty gym fanatics in sight that smell so bad you want to rip your nose off your face and replace it with a two-nickel cork. No, Sir, it's just you and Mister Nuisance. (Yes, I said Mister because women are never annoying.) 

You may smile now. 

So when some woman is testing your patience, and you notice yourself contemplating ceremonial suicide by disembowelment, all you need to do is assume the position. Rush to the nearest car in town, place your hands on the trunk and spread your feet apart so you can be searched. Thoroughly.

Now close your eyes. Be grateful that no one is standing behind you. Be grateful that Mr. Police officer is searching someone else at that very moment. Not you. No, not you. You are free to go. You are your own person. No one is touching your body. Also, there is no gorilla in plain sight showing an interest in your inviting pose. You know, like the one in Trading Places. Just saying. Things could be much, much worse. 

So that is one reason. I have to say, I'm on a roll. I can almost feel those juices flowing. Upbeat juices.

Now, when I say enrich our lives, I mean ENRICH our lives, because nuisances can be very meaningful. Like, for instance, when your neighbor's annoying girlfriend's annoying little kid is skating on the third floor and you happen to be living on the second one, trying to do yoga because you feel a bit tense. Now, your brother owns a bazooka and you feel the urge to read what the manual says. Don't do it! Nuisances can enrich our lives. They can be very meaningful. Instead, go upstairs and knock on your neighbor's door.

Say, "Howdy neighbor. I want to thank you for enriching my life." Your neighbor will say, "How's that?" And you will show him your brother's bazooka and tell him you're not planning on using it on him on account of the daily skating ritual. He will feel so relieved.

Tell him that listening to that lovely girlfriend's lovely kid skating on a daily basis has made you realize yoga is a complete waste of time and you consider it best to pursue other hobbies. Tell him that listening to that lovely girlfriend's lovely little brat has made you realize your upstairs neighbors are complete morons and you are not. You thought you were but now you know you are in fact an endearing creature in touch with all things that matter. Say, "Thank you neighbor," as you remind him of the bazooka, and retreat. Well, how's that for a way to not resort to violence and re-evaluate who you are as a person?

Things can be so deep.

So incredibly deep. 

It makes me emotional. 

I love this planet. 

I love everyone, politicians included. 

I love my neighbors. 

I love you.

How meaningful can a nuisance be, right? 

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