April 28, 2024

How to Bully an Archangel from Hell

I think it was sometime in 2010 that I started my first blog. It may have been 2009. I don't really know. But something happened to that blog that never saw the light of day. Until now. 

How to Bully an Archangel from Hell... That's some title right there. Who would've thought that I, a non-bully, would ever write a post with such a title? And now I'm thinking, if only this were American fiction. 

Keep dreaming. It's not.

Once upon a time I had a boss. He showed all the tell-tale signs of a socially-handicapped incompetent moron, but I was too preoccupied with my own ego and academic career to notice. We're talking 2011-2012. Now, this Embodiment of Sheer Incompetence (or He Whose Name we Don't Mention, Harry Potter!) had another wonderful character trait: he was a professional coward. In my book, being a coward and being the boss does not make a very healthy combo. Did I mention I was too preoccupied with my own self to even notice? 

Ironically, this idiot of a man-wannabe was called Gabriel — you know, Gabriel the benevolent archangel, providing guidance and reassurance. 

"And the angel answered him, 'I am Gabriel. 
I stand in the presence of God, and I was sent 
to speak to you and to bring you this good news.'" 
— Luke 1:19 (ESV)

Sounds like a name befitting the leader of a pack. You'd think. But there was no guidance and there was no good news. As time passed by, it became all too clear that he wasn't worthy of the name. When his job became too taxing and stress got the better of him, he turned into a backstabber, who relished nothing more than to divide and conquer and to strategically place his minions between his growing number of enemies and himself. 

Think of him as a mobster minus the balls. 

Well, this EmptyBallSacker.Inc. bullied easy targets, mainly female teachers who dared criticize his inability to lead the way to success — teachers who had noticed  that Mister Peter Principle 101 wasn't doing a mighty fine job, which might ultimately lead to everyone working for him losing their job (which we almost did). I remember two teachers in particular. One shared an office with me. She was the epitome of a strong woman, and the other — well, she had basically broken down and asked me for support or to at least listen to what this No-good Balls Lacking Backstabbing Embodiment of Sheer Incompetence (or He Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned) had been doing to her. 

Long story short, he'd made their lives living hell on earth, and when he noticed I, too, had lost faith in him and, worse yet, saw through the politically-correct facade, he tried to get everyone in the department to see me as a bad guy. He had his spies report on me and found my blog through the biggest brownnosed sleazebag in town. He didn't like it, and then basically blackmailed me into deleting the whole damn thing.

He was successful for once in his pitiful life. 

But then the bully became the bullee. Yes, grammarians, that is a word. I just made it up. The bully became the bullee, because I never run from cowards. I would have to destroy all my mirrors. Instead, I'd ignore his Circle of Appropriate Distance, his... proximity zone, his... personal space, and always gave him The Look. I'd hint at his incompetence by stating, "If I did my job the way you're doing it, I would've fired myself a long time ago". 

On the record. 

In meetings, I'd make a fool of him by asking, "How come it's so hard for you to break even?" I would barge into his office and give him a piece of my mind. I'd highlight every stupid decision. In the end, this guy was so scared of me, he wouldn't speak with me unless there was at least one witness holding his hand. Once that included someone from HR, I kid you not. She said, "Well, I think it's pretty brave of Gabriel to admit he is scared of you." I remember saying, "Well, this only shows what kind of men you're interested in." Little did I know that a decade down the line most men would have zero testosterone (yes, you woke electric kick scooter lovers) and that this Hand-holding Brownnose-Loving EmptyBallSacker Man-wannabe was in fact a genuine precursor.

I should send him a postcard and congratulate him on yet another achievement. 

Anyway, you can hide a stink only so long. Eventually his boss got wind of the problem, and even the judge called him "a terrible manager" after that colleague of mine had stopped breaking down, grew a pair and sued Him Whose Name Shall Not Be Mentioned. "Gabriel," I said. "One day you'll be gone, and I will still be here, teaching, doing what I do best. Doing what I do with my heart." 

And so it happened. 

It's only poetic that someone with such an angelic name is taught the true meaning of "Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot." 

And pardon my French.

* * *

26 comments:

  1. Just amazing people like that end up in management. He did get his.
    And too many snowflakes in this world...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Back in those days I thought you were a fifteen year old girl who writes her blog in the form of comics and cartoons LOL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What?! You go and wash that mouth with a bottle of gin!

      Well, hello.... Dezmeister. Long time no see. What have you been up to?

      Delete
  3. My daughter just quit her job last month because of a manager like that. One of the guys that worked there and brownnosed the manager was sexually harassing some of the women that worked there and my daughter went above her managers head and got a warning. 3 warnings and you get fired. She told the women to go get lawyers to sue the manager but someone erased the video footage of this guy harassing the women. There are still bad managers out there. So many bad managers. Karma gets them in the end sometimes I think,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She went above her manager and got a warning.... A warning for doing what? Karma needs to be a bigger bitch and I, for one, loves her. Someone erased the footage....

      Delete
    2. A warning for going above her manager. Right? That's ridiculous. Yep, the video footage is gone. But several of the ladies have the text messages from the manager of her saying that she did indeed see the video of what the guy did. So they are taking that to the lawyer.

      Delete
    3. Good. Will be keeping my fingers crossed.

      Delete
  4. I hope your colleague won her lawsuit!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She sure did. But then she had to return to the office, so... The things that some very bad people do, right?

      Thanks for stopping by.

      Delete
  5. It’s amazing how people like that make it into managerial positions, but there are a lot of dumb people out there who are easily snowed by a good resume, I guess. I’m glad you are rid of him.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I've never understood the need to bully and it does seem that if you stand up to them, they back off.
    Excellent title:)
    Hope you are well.
    Sandra sandracox.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Doing fine, Sandra. Thanks for stopping by. But now I'm thinking.... what if the bully is our own government... hm...

      Delete
  7. Somehow, I think there is more to this story than meets the eye 😉 Some managers are not qualified. They just play better office politics and were rewarded with a promotion.How are you Blue? Tell me true? You know who

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There's more, but not a lot. Oh I'm doing fine, True. Thank you for asking. Sitting in the garden, minding my own business. :)

      Delete
    2. I left my job no more of the office BS.,plan to live a bit. Minding your own business in the garden? I am minding my own business this spring day

      Delete
    3. No more office bs.... Sounds fantastic.

      Delete
  8. My husband worked for a guy like that. Sad when it's the owner doing the bullying. Jason ended up quitting 2 years ago. His noncompete is now up as of last month and I have a feeling bully will be sniffing around to see what we're up to. Bully has been calling old employees to come back to work as many of the old ones left after my husband did. I told Jason if he calls to get him back and it it's even considered, I will divorce him faster than he can say yes to said bully. All the money in the world isn't worth dealing with a dickhead 5 days a week, especially when it triggers anxiety and depression.
    Glad you made your bully's life miserable!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "I will divorce him faster" than he can say yes to said bully. That sounds like Theresa, all right. He'd better listen too. And as for that former boss of his, he can just go straight to hell. Life's too friggin' short to be spent on this bs.

      Thanks for stopping by. It took me way too long to write something.

      Blue

      Delete
  9. Blogger woke up and now I'm able to comment again.... lol. ANYway, I was gonna say I had a boss like that too. She had a knack for claiming all my work was hers. and all the higher ups believed her (among other things). Siiiiighhhh!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know the type. They make me sick. Good to hear from you again, Lynda.

      Delete
  10. Blue, I swear I commented here, but not it's gone. Unless I forgot to hit publish. My old age brain probably had a little skippity skip. Glad you showed that college who the real boss was. I cannot stand a bully. Jason worked for a bully for 22 years, quit 2 years ago. I belly laughed when I found out his company struggled after hubs left and they just filed bankruptcy. Karma eventually works its way to those who deserve it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Karma is a bitch, and I love her. For some reasin that stupid Blogger put you in my spam box. So now I'm thinking, why? And why only the first time? I appreciate your second try. You know that.

      Delete
  11. Bad bosses. Thanks to you he was out of there. Sometimes the very top is corrupted and it's hard to change. I walked out of the office in one of my very first jobs after giving my manager a piece of my mind. Also, it was a job I didn't care about so that felt good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good for you, J.J.! Any quotes you'd like to share?

      Delete