I'd Pick No Biopic, Thank You Very Much

If you could choose between virtual chocolate and a real bar, which one would you prefer? You're on a diet? Well, just imagine you weren't. Which one would you pick?

I'm asking because not too long ago, I was just sitting back, watching that Bohemian Rhapsody where Rami Malek plays Freddie Mercury. The first thing that struck me was that the film just couldn’t capture everything that happened with the band in a couple of hours, so it felt kind of hollow. But that’s not really surprising. I mean, how much can you actually show in that time? 

At one point, the scene set during Live Aid came on. I thought, “Great music.” I remembered Live Aid like it was yesterday. And then I caught myself thinking, “What in the world am I even doing? Why am I watching an imitation?” I clicked over to YouTube, found the actual Live Aid performance. Long story short, it was a completely... different.... experience. The real deal. Dear Lord, this guy could sing all right. It was one of the best days ever. I knew it then and I know it now. 

So when your friendly Grumpster recently heard all the controversy around this biopic about Michael Jackson, I immediately thought back to that Freddie Mercury movie: why would I watch an imitation with not even half the charisma, basically lip-syncing on screen? On top of that, I know the film is heavily sanitized (just like Bohemian Rhapsody), since Jackson’s family has kept such a close eye on it to make sure his reputation doesn’t get dragged through the mud—if they can help it. 

I’m kind of fed up with being flooded on YouTube with videos of someone who could never, ever fill Michael Jackson’s shoes. It starts with the look—zero charisma. And yet this movie is no doubt going to break records. What’s up with that? Could this be The Search For More Money? 

Or is it something else?

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