No Women Allowed (And See What Happens Next)

Well on my way to becoming the new Arnold Schwarzenschnitzel, I somehow felt compelled to delve into the history of fitness clubs. I know, I have no semblance of a life, but a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do, even if his belly says hello first when he enters a room. And while I was immersed in rigorous research, I came across an ad for Women’s Only Fitness Centers. No men allowed. No male individuals. No tripods, thank you very much. That got me thinking. Here’s what I propose: let’s open a Men’s Only Fitness Center. No women allowed. Not even the pretty ones. 

At this point, you might be offended. "What’s that you say? No women allowed???" That’s right, at Blue’s Imaginary Gym, there is no room whatsoever for the female gender. Period. Not even if they have a mustache. Read the big sign at the door that clearly spells it out for you, “No women allowed.”

Just to make a point. 

Because, you see, for some reason, it seems perfectly normal for there to be gyms where men are not welcome. For some reason, few feel offended by that. But think about it... NO MEN ALLOWED. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit exclusionary?

Something tells me the average feminist will want to cancel anyone who dares to exclude women. How dare he? You sexist! Extra, extra, read all about it! No doubt a Trump supporter! Social media experts will be fighting among themselves to destroy the gym owner, because Sexist Gym Owner Destroyed makes excellent clickbait. (Destroyed is such a fun word in 2024.) Thank you, Ms. Double Standard.

But wait a minute. Women are not victims. Not in this country, they are not. Women have the same rights as men. Women are strong. Excluding men only reinforces the idea that men and women cannot share the same space without issues arising. This perpetuates stereotypes about both genders—men as potential threats and women as needing protection. True equality should be about breaking down these stereotypes, not reinforcing them. “No women allowed.” Don’t you just like the sound of that? If you do, you might want to check out Blue’s Gym and sink your teeth into the wonderful world of men-only. 

The thing is, exclusion can never be a solution. It's discriminatory. It doesn't address the root problem. “Now wait a minute, Blue,” I hear you protest. “This isn’t any different from today’s bathroom segregation. A bathroom for women only, a bathroom for men only. What’s the problem?” Well, the problem is that bathroom segregation based on gender is a two-way street. “Women only” is not. Why am I reminded of 

“Not for colored people” or 

“No Jews allowed” or 

"Only if you're vaccinated"?

If that last sentence triggers you, ask yourself why. Do you think these things are not similar to a women’s only gym? Here’s an idea: a sign that says, “Harass and a big guard will kick your…” 

Don’t exclude. If you do, don’t moan when you’re excluded in turn, as in “Men Only.” The truth be told, us real men don't give a rat's butt about any of this.  We don't cancel. We don't go online and complain like a bunch of whinos."We have rights! We have rights, dammit! Boohoohoo!" Why is that?

Anyway, this Arnold Schwarzenschnitzel wannabe is off to the gym. Will be back in 20 minutes, feeling completely destroyed.

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