Incomplete Transcript of Lecture 500: How Society Became Smart

December 2040

Good morning, boys and girls. Welcome to lecture number 500, in which we'll take a look back on the days when society wasn't smart. Some things will baffle you. Others will not. It was a time when all hope seemed lost, but as you will remember from your Biblical studies, Hebrews 11:1 teaches us there's always hope: "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen." And, boy, were we blind.

When I was still a young teacher in 2019, I showed your academic predecessors the following image:

Notice the biker in the bottom left corner. He is, of course, connected to the internet. Yet at the time we weren't smart enough to understand that the internet of things would include us. 

[students laughing]

Yes, that's so funny. Please switch off your microphone, Jenny. Okay, let me begin at the beginning, and this is just to give you a general idea. Tomorrow you'll be settling down to serious work in light of the final test on the Fourth Industrial Revolution, which was first mentioned on gov.uk. You won't have time for generalities. Next slide.

And this is the Fertilizing Room, where the wonders of bio-engineering were stored and administered. 

Hooray for this week's supply of Recipients Collective Protomeds (or RCP testing kits) and, of course, the vaccines— not kept at blood heat but at a very low temperature. This, boys and girls, was the place where the fertilization procedure was undergone voluntarily for the good of society, not to mention the fact that it carried a bonus amounting to six months' access to restaurants, movie theaters and your personal doctor. Next slide.

Here's a picture of a volunteer being fertilized with Smart Dust 1.0:

Notice how long the prodding device was. The poor woman clearly had no idea what the implications of her decision were. I assume she thought she was making the world a better place. I assume she thought that Q-tip was just that: a verylong Q-tip. You may laugh now, Jenny.

[Jenny switches on her microphone and laughs.]

Hahaha! In fact you may ALL switch on your microphones. She thought it was a very long Q-tip!

[They switch on their microphones.]

Hahahahahahahaha! A very long Q-tip — Okay, okay, switch them off again — a very long Q-tip that you know was part of The Big Lie: Big lie - A propaganda technique of creating grossly distorted or misrepresented facts that one repeats with such fervor and conviction that the public comes to view it as the truth without questioning. (Wikipedia 2021) We now call it The Necessary Lie. But when rogue reporters — we now refer to them as Abnormalities— exposed testing kits as containing fertilization material, there was quite an uproar. The world was upset and small. But luckily the media were in cahoots with the Government to reshape our thoughts or else today's new world would've been a figment of some novel writer's imagination. Anyway, those Q-tips needed to be as long as they were because the Fertilizer had been given clear instructions by the Powers That Be to rub them firmly against the barrier between your nose and the brain so as to implant the revolutionary microcomputers that would soon connect the ignorant volunteer to the internet-based tracking system. 

Ironically, Fertilizers in those days didn't really know what they were doing to their volunteers. They, too, thought they were making the world a safer place as they approvingly witnessed the total destruction of the global market system in the process. Also ironically, the volunteer I showed you at the beginning of this lecture was already connected to the internet through a device called a smart phone. She had all the means at her disposal to uncover the truth but she chose to be ignorant. The majority of the population chose to be ignorant — or they were in denial because it was too much information to take in. This is as good a point as any to make a distinction between two types of not knowing:

Yes, well, ignorance is a willful disregard of the facts. It is also strength. Of course, once the volunteer had been irreversibly Hitachified— make sure to study Hitachi's Process— there was no way back. She was set for life. I probably shouldn't be telling you this but two decades ago I gave a lecture on the term compliance. I showed my students this screenshot from a peer reviewed article on nasal vaccination that can still be found on the internet:

I said, 'Don't be gullible, boys and girls. Be critical. Don't be lazy. Do your own research and draw your own conclusions.' But no one ever did. Everyone was too preoccupied with their online image, thumbs up and down and, of course, Netflix, which was a primitive subscription-based streaming service turning significantly fewer students into mindless addicts than GatesMedia does today.

[canned laughter]

Hey, this old button still works!

[No one is laughing. Professor Blue is staring at his desk and sighs.]

I'm sorry. I can't do this. I have to tell you the truth. I see no other way. Being connected to the internet and, by implication, to the Government, isn't a good idea. It's a bad idea. It's a terrible idea dished up as a great one. You may laugh, now, Jenny.

[Jenny isn't laughing.]

I... I... remember once telling your savage academic predecessors about the possible horrors of the future that all of you have collectively embraced since the day you were born. It's wrong! It's a crime against humanity! It's — 

[end of transmission]

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