Are you a Facebook fetishist? I bet you are. Face…book. Say it. Does it make you sweat? Does it sound sexy? Maybe I have to try and accept that Facebook is like death. It's inevitable. You can fight it but in the end you've got no choice but succumb to its power. BAMMMM - you're a Facebookee. Well, my name is Grumpy and I haven't been Facebooked yet. (I'm sticking out my tongue.)
My wife's on Facebook. Her brother's future wife's on Facebook. He hasn't met her yet but this much we know. Ask Adam - it's all statistical. She must be on Facebook. But here's my problem: none of them understand why I keep resisting the force. It's not like my saber isn't very impressive. And my rocket is big, sure, but unless I'm on Facebook, no one's gonna know.
I mean, look at me. I've got 71 followers of which only twenty or so I feel I've got the right to call my friends. Twenty. That's like…. nothing in Faceland. And that includes my sweet cousin Az, who is biased - statistically speaking. But if I were on Facebook, yes…… IF I were on Facebook…. Let me relish that thought. IF I WERE... dear Lord and Sweet Heaven above I bet my handsome blue buttocks on a platter I'd be swamped in virtual friends.You know, the real deal. Jennifer included! Let me ask you: who doesn't want friends? Friends make life bearable. Friends are real. Friends define your worth. So I'm worth shit.
I guess the real question is...why are you reading this? Interested in nonfacebook curiosities, are you? Don't you know I have twenty friends and 71 followers? Some of them aren't even certified Facebook Friends because, like me, they call Facebook 'Blogger Light'. Think about it. Numbers matter. Are you sure you want to be associated with an anti-social rocket builder like myself with a follow button that's there because it's aesthetically pleasing?
Someone wise and colorful told me that eventually everything and everyone is reduced to nothing. I'm not so sure about Facebook though. It might be that our need to connect and PR our life is eternal. What do you think?
Of course this rant will be continued.
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